Thursday, June 12, 2008

Do You Have Trouble Saying "No"?

If so read this - "Planned Neglect - Saying No To Good Things So We Can Say Yes to the Best". I came across this via a new blog called "No Cross, No Crown".

Somehow we feel like we need to say "yes" to all the good things people ask us to do, because, well, they are good things. But if the new "yes" causes us to neglect the old "yes-es"...then it's not really a good thing for us.

"Whenever we say yes to something, we’ve found that it’s not just the new thing itself, it’s the new contacts, the new networks, and all the new requests that come out of them. We love people, and we enjoy making new friends. And yet, it’s also true that while we’re grateful when God brings us new friends, we are not actively seeking them, because as the years go by we have to work harder just to stay in touch with our old ones. ...There are only 168 hours in the week no matter what we do (and during a third of those we should be sleeping!) If we have X number of people to make time for, they have to come out of the same small pie of available time, and pretty soon the slices of the pie get smaller and smaller. You end up having dear friends who no longer get a sliver, because it’s been divided so many times."

I'm not sure what I think of his comment about not seeking out new friends...I think there is a fine line between actively seeking out new friends and as the writer mentioned "God bringing us new friends". I'd say "God bringing us new friends", has a very wide scope. A new neighbor moves in next door, you get a new cubicle mate at work, a new family begins attending your church, you begin talking with another mother at the park, you meet some interesting folks at a family camp...those all sound like they could be "God bringing us new friends".

"Rather than a large number of causes that we have tiny little investments in, better to have a much smaller number that you’re wholeheartedly engaged in, giving your very best."

While some of us have trouble saying "no" - others have trouble saying "yes". Both can be equally a problem.

We purposely have chosen to live a simple life that is not filled to the brim with activities. It probably helps that we are introverts (well my dh and I - can't say the same thing about the kids). Yet we need to be open to the opportunities that come before us and weigh the value of them, and be willing to do them.

Saying "yes", may require a sacrifice. A sacrifice of our time, of our talents, of our money, of what we'd rather be doing...


ames said...

Very interesting. I get that sense a lot when it comes to the blogosphere. I feel there's huge potential to make new friends but at what cost? I could spend an entire day playing catch up with my feed reader and subsequently not get anything done or interact with anyone away from the computer. I try to balance blog-time with all my other activities and just hope that people aren't offended if it takes me some time to come back around.

Anonymous said...

Hebrews 13:2 says, "Be not forgetful to entertain strangers; for thereby some have entertained angels unawares."

katiez said...

I have a problem saying yes...
But ONLY 168 HOURS???
No wonder I'm always out of time.
I really should learn to say yes to relaxing....